The Only Thing To Do
It’s funny (or not) how one’s perceptions can shift. One day, beauty, the next and life is a joke.
Any given day, I’m in a pretty snappy mood. I entertain myself with mild jokes, easy math problems, and goofy plans. I do things merely to do them. Certain pursuits have become more habit than joy; but the habit manages to gratify.
I remember writing a poem called “Proud Now” which addressed undelayed gratification. I was reminding myself that the joy was in getting there; in the rehearsal, not the performance; in the trip, not the destination.
Still, there have been parts of the trip I did not enjoy… black holes in the long, stangeness of it… from which I might not have emerged without harming myself or another. My ability to enjoy the present trip demands that I bury those old byways as deep as I can. It’s not the healthy thing to do. It’s the only thing to do.
Pfaw. Ignore all that. I’m just depressed because Justin left.
on October 25th, 2005 at 10:07 am
It was good to see Justin, Josie, and Taylor again. It’s always a let down when friends leave though. You probably would have been better off if you had thrown a crying tantrum like Abby did as soon as they were out the door.
It’s been raining for days.
It’s October.
We talked about sad times yesterday.
I’m surprised you’re not on the roof of the building!
We need to think of something fun to do tonight after the kids are in bed, something to look forward to.
Also, think about the fun podcasts we’re going to do and the Grand Theft we’re going to play and our round, smiley boy who says “dada” when we’re not listening and our smarty-pants Abby and mashed potatoes for dinner and our glass tunnel and retirement and… I could go on and on. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then… Alright, I may be going a little over board here. I just love you.